Conversations at the dental office

Mix the yuppie with the Philipino receptionist and the Eastern European dental assistant discussing night guards.

Receptionist: "(...) and you can make sure with your insurance that the dental guard is covered."

Guy who just finished from dentist: "I will"

Me: "So I see the latest dental scam: this is the third person to walk in here you recommend a dental guard to. You've moved away from the electric brush sale then?"

Me: "How long do I have to wear the night guard for?"

Assistant (with heavy accent): "All the time"

Me: "Are you serious? What happens when you start sleeping beside someone, like you have that on?!"

Assistant: "Haha, yes yes. You know funny story, my husband and I both have night guard and we used to stand beside bed and watch ourselves put it on and laugh!"

Receptionist: "Yeah, sometimes you'll wake up and there's drool everywhere, happens to me all the time!"

Me: "That's really disgusting."

Assistant: "One time, or often actually, you'll wake up and won't find your night guard. One time, I wake up and I couldn't find it. I started panicking looking for it.

Me: "Seriously? Where did it go? What if it ends up on the other person somehow? Like how'd you pull it out it's practically impossible?!"

Meanwhile, the receptionist is on the floor dying of laughter, pointing at me, claiming I make her die everytime.
Me: "You guys are just adding to the endless sexy possibilities of having to wear a night guard at night. Is there no alternative?"

Assistant: "Stop the grind. Don't worry, he'll love you with or without night guard."