Conversations with my mother

"I've been published mom, in print!" I tell her, happily.
"Send me the link honey!"
"Print mom, print!" I say.
"There's no link?" She asks.
"Paper."

"Your grandfather wants me to tell you to stay away from politics. He says live life and forget about this nonsense."
"Life would cease to have meaning," I respond.

"You know your dad's second cousin's wife's dad? And your late grandfather's brother's wife?"
"Yeah what about them?" I reply.
"Well they got married. She's 68, he's 80."
"Woah," I respond.
"I know, your father and I spent the entire day laughing, I almost left work!"

"Your grandfather also told me about his new venture. Hooking up widows his age."

"I came back and the house was a mess so I spent the entire day cleaning. I mean you know how your sister is, if death came knocking on her door she wouldn't get up for him."
- her love of directly translating sayings from various languages to English.