Sunday, 17 January 2010

One. Un. Wahad.

When you first move to the big city, everything sounds like a St.Vincent song. The halfway mark is when you face the biggest difficulties. You're tired of the party friends, the drugs you don't take, the alcohol you don't drink, and the faces that won't call you, they'll just be your best friend when you're out, give you a light if you need it, and be an acquaintance when it's daytime. They won't remember your eye colour, or your favourite brand of anything. By this point, you're pretty familiar with the city you call home, the lights that shine whenever you walk down a certain street, but you're not familiar with who your friends are, can't explain the sudden drama or lack there of in your life and left wondering if this is really what you want. But you never really know what you want anyway. You're a twenty something, the future is to be dealt with later, or never, depends if you like looking at life as an empty abyss or planning it. Depending on your situation and how much support you have around you, this is quite possibly the most crucial time. The St.Vincent song no longer resonates in your head alongside your footsteps when you're walking. You start to figure out that you're pretty much going to be un-easy for the next little while unless something fantastic comes along. If it does then great, if it doesn't then shit, right? By the completion of your first year, as the hair on your arms rises when the crisp winter air comes into effect, the whole thing feels like an Iron & Wine song, on loop and you can't do anything about that.

January 19th will mark the one year anniversary of this blog. Unlike when I marked the six month anniversary back in July, I won't be counting down my favourite posts. 2009 has been by far the most difficult and interesting year of my life, after all, much has happened in such a short span of time. Some changes were documented to my dear readers, some however, stay hidden inside my basement, locked and revealed only at my most vulnerable hour. What have I learned from this year filled with life lessons? Plenty. I grew up too quickly. My mama never said don't grow up too fast, on the contrary, she wanted me to grow up fast, but my friends told me to wait. I took part in many things I never imagined myself partaking in, adapted to living life independently, witnessed the ugliness of human beings I cared about, developed a paranoia of having false things being spread about me, proved loyalty, switched jobs, distanced myself away from many people, stopped planning and caring about many things, analyzed every human being I met, and my impatience and longing to leave this country has surpassed what I have ever imagined. Why? That's a discussion that will take place another time, because I will continue to write on this blog, so don't worry about it.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for reading The Yuppie Activist, whether you're a new or old reader, whether you love it or hate it, whether you understand the posts or not, either way, you're visiting the site.

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