Thursday, 18 February 2010

Guide to being [really] Arab: Ginos

In my quest to find things that make me ashamed of my heritage, I stumble upon Massari. Baby boy is from my hometown and Mr. Money is the representation of [almost] every Lebanese boy in Ottawa. I thought Massari ended about the same time my heart left green eyed Lebanon but I guess I was wrong. Far from the days of driving up to the Heron community centre in his Oldsmobile, Massari seems to be doing okay for himself. I did, after all, meet his supposed stylist at a so called fashion show I had the unfortunate "luxury" of covering back in September.

In Sari's latest video, he takes Axel F's beat and gino's it up - so the gino's can dance to it at da club. Despite the tune being catchy, you still can't help but look at this video and be like "God, Sari, you're totally one of those Arab guys that dates white girls for years, promises them things (roosh il massari 3aleki rash*) and then when your mama finds you a nice girl from the jnoob, you ditch white girl. Ya shabab**, what are we going to do with you? The girls in your videos are the easy ones you claim to care about but don't, you just use them for B-O-O-T-A-Y because the Arab girl makes you promise things before she gives you anything, then proceeds to remind you not to tell anyone what happened if anything did actually happen. You know what, maybe a girl from the jnoob will be good for you, you might learn a few Arabic words from her, then you'll have minor cred in the community.Yalla habibi. In other news, not sure if you saw the video for "Hot Girl" by one of Massari's old singing partners Belly.

Belly is also from my hometown. Our mothers are quite good friends. My mom does his mom's taxes. Belly, unlike Massari, is not totally ginoed up. He's another type of Arab boy you should probably stay away from: the ones who grow their hair into a gigantic afro, smoke pot in the house all day thinking up rhymes and might be doing a Business Administration diploma at the local community college.

Someone disabled embedding because they are lame:

But, I must admit, this guy is 100 times worse than Massari.

*=buy you the finest things


  1. entertainers, not artists, such as massari and jad, epitomize the global commercialization of art. there is nothing original about their productions. it is the same cookie cutter western pop gimmick. in fact, if it wasn't for synthesizers they wouldn't even be able to sing; how else can masari maintain that annoying seven year old kid's pitch of a voice. fuck this noisy garbage.

  2. "In my quest to find things that make me ashamed of my heritage, I stumble upon Massari"

    oh man -- i dont need to go on a quest for artists that make me ashamed of my heritage...they keep getting advertised on my FACEBOOK page for some reason. hey atleast your guy is a world renouned (they LOVE him in Dubai) musician... our people are usually 55 year olds with bad hair plugs singing dance tunes with 10/hr strippers in the back.

    this is sara by the way-- for some reason im not being allowed to sign in through my blog.

  3. Massari should stop plucking his eyebrows! and Belly should...we all know what he should go do

  4. well done.. Massari is classy compared to Karl Wolf, that guys is massive douche

  5. "Belly is also from my hometown. Our mothers are quite good friends. My mom does his mom's taxes."

    That's the best thing I've read all week!

  6. Now I knew that Jad Shawarma should have his ass handed to him by the fine men of Jazmatiye in el-Midan, Damascus, but I didn't know that his case was so severe.
    "Every individual that has participated in this video is an arab" I thought he was Phoenician.

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