The jerk in your hood

Another reason why you shouldn't give your number to a boy who hasn't asked for it:

Upon seeing a wedding ring on his finger for the first time:
"So you're married?"
"Yeah, I've been married twice actually."
"Wow! Aren't you like 28?"
"Well, I can't be alone."
"Well obviously. You're a man."
"And I love women! Love them"
"I sincerely do hope so."
To self: "I'm too good looking for this shit." Exit.
Someone please give this guy an Ashley Madison card. Jerk.

So this is hurrah...

The day was starting off pretty bad until I got the most exciting press release in my inbox. The day is getting better, like way better. I usually don't get too excited about this sort of thing but anyone that knows me knows about my obsession with Junior Boys. I've already sent this to MK and this was her response: "YESYES YESYESYESYESYESYEYSY WE HAVE TO GO!" So I guess we're going! Already in my planner love.

REMG ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS:
JUNIOR BOYS with special guest MAX TUNDRA
Saturday, March 28, 2009 (All Ages, Doors 7pm, Show 8pm)
Sunday, March 29, 2009 (19+, Doors 8pm, Show 9pm)
Mod Club Theatre (722 College St.)
Tickets are $18.00 (plus any additional fees) in advance and are available at Ticketmaster, Rotate This, Soundscapes & Play De Record **Tickets On-sale Saturday January 31 @ 10AM**
www.remgentertainment.com

Ma fête

My birthday is coming up. I want this shirt:


But even the Wendy James one is rad since I still can't afford a Balmain jacket and I've scratched it off my list this year.


So far all you homies who said I was picky, I made it easy for you. And if you insist, I'll take the Balmain jacket, or you can at least start helping me save up for it.

Designer: Elena Gallen

This is what I call a dance track

Okay I say that frequently but this one is making me move...a lot. That's not good because a) I'm at work, and b) it's open concept here. It's obvious that I can't won't get myself to press skip. Here, you try:
Extraball - Yuksek featuring Amanda Blank

Yuksek's MySpace
Photo: www.earwigsandwax.com

Ramy, I love you, I want to have your babies

Project Runway Canada premieres on Tuesday at 10pm on Global. Finally, I'm off that "don't say anything or you'll get sued for a lot of money that you can never make in a lifetime contract". My friend Ramata (Ramy), a model from Ottawa (represented by MIM) is on the show and my roommate and I couldn't be more excited. Although Ramy's new coupe à la Grace Jones won't be making an appearance on Project Runway, her amazing runway skills sure will and you'll surely enjoy watching her strut her stuff. Oh and remember when I said I didn't have television? Well because my roommate wanted it so bad I got it installed (boy she had stars in her eyes when she found out). Although I'm upset, it comes just in time I guess. Ramy, bonne chance chérie!



Photo: Nico Stinghe

Want, want, want u

Oh how wonderful the original of this song was, and how delightful the remix is. The way I am addicted to this song is comparable to a nicotine habit.

Lo-Fi-Fnk

Always check your child's homework

Someone sent this to me and I'm sharing it with you. Pure jokes.

Take a look at the picture first, then you have to read the letter from the mom to the teacher below.


(Here's the reply the teacher received the following day)

Dear Mrs. Jones,

I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot. From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Smith

DJ Doorbell

My friend Bear and I share many interests, such as music, politics, love, and a certain affection for Mr. Finkelstein. We talk endlessly about various topics, invade each other's walls with links to songs and videos, and scrape the hardwood of the dancefloor whenever we get the chance. This past fall, Bear headed to Norway on exchange and while there, he decided to learn how to dj. Now, DJ Doorbell has released his first trial mix (which he sent to me) and I got so excited that I asked him if I could post it. His response: "that's awfully nice of you to post it on your blog. Put the new edit up, and i'll be your BFF for life..". I thought we were already? I'm so proud of Bear. And now he can add "mad djing skills" on his resume, right beside tall, handsome and painfully intelligent. So click here to download, put your headphones on and don't forget to enjoy.


Bear showcasing his indie good looks and musical skills to the Norwegians

Tracklist:

1. Cut Dick - Mr Oizo
2. I am Somebody - Dj Mehdi feat. Chromeo
3. Phantom II - Justice
4. Positif - Mr Oizo
5. Bongo Song - Zongamin
6. Get Innocuous/Someone Great LCD SoundSystem

Vicariously living through illustrators

Decorating your new condo is hard. Finding nice artwork to match is even harder. When I stumbled upon Samantha Hahn's work, I had to buy it. First, it reminds me of my mother's illustrations when she used to draw and second, she had a lot of red, which is my blast colour. When I emailed Samantha telling her I love her work and I'm a non-practicing illustrator, she responded promptly, and not just with one line. This made me even happier to buy her work because of how genuine she was.


Since I peruse the internet a lot looking for furniture, decent blogs, etc I happened to find Etsy. Dude, it's like handmade ebay! I bought so much stuff from this site, including custom pillows from the wonderful Elizabeth, a coffee table, a vinyl wall sticker and the piece below from the also wonderful Irena Sophia. Irena's piece came in great wrapping paper and the cutest tag. She also hand wrote a thank you note to me. That's service.



I then realized MK's avatar picture is none other than an illustration by Irena Sophia. Destiny? I think so. Do yourself a favour, pay these girls a visit, send them an email, whatever, because they are great and those are the people whose art I like to support.

To buy Samantha's art:
http://www.theshinysquirrel.com/
http://www.littlepaperplanes.com/

To read her blog:
www.samanthahahn.com/blog

To buy Irena's art:
Irena's esty shop

Lilac

Last month, my mother phoned me to tell me about this great gift she got me from Coach. Now I'm not fond of Coach (for all you fake purse loving girls it's Goach), but I sincerely appreciate the gesture. Let me rewind back to the eighties and early nineties before proceeding with the story. My mom was an artist with great style and a killer hair cut. She was a total head turning babe. In the nineties, she decided to drop her fine arts degree, switch over to commerce and get a "real" job. By becoming a corporate suit, my mother's style evolved into something that my sister and I don't quite understand. We've classified it as "hodgepodge", translation: she loves the flashy Coach stuff. So when the package arrived, I opened it and immediately panicked. How am I supposed to tell her that if I wore these items I'd look like a member of the newly formed "Baby Lilac Soundcrew"? After minutes of being the subject of mockery by my roommate and ignoring my mother's calls (to ask if I received the package of course), I found, tucked inside the bag, a receipt. Thank you mom, you did something right in this purchase! I quickly headed to the Eaton Centre and discussed my dilemma with the Coach staff. I actually told them I am not a fan of the brand and lilac isn't exactly my colour so I was hoping to get the money instead (hey, I'm broke okay?). But, since mother paid with her credit card, I was offered only store credit. And since I don't like making trips to the mall, I decided to browse and found these:




Amazing aren't they? The cashmere and the cuff is what sold me. I've never been able to find a pair of gloves I like since I lost my beautiful Pegabo ones in a cab two years ago. These babies came to just about the total of all the stuff my mom got me AND I managed to get candy money ($5.10) back. So the next time mommy called, I picked up and told her that I really needed leather gloves so I had to return the other stuff. I also put emphasis on the fact that cashmere was involved. Surely she was upset, but if she saw these gloves, I'm sure she'd understand.

Arty: the memoirs

Some of my friends say hilarious stuff. For example, my friend Dre, after a long absence of emails, starts off her epic apology letter with "Je suis désolée si ca m’a pris du temps à t’écrire…jai vécu une semaine de cul (pas dans le bon sens :)) ces derniers moments. " If you understood that, you may have died of laughter.

Another friend of mine, Bean, gives the best advice regarding males. Send her a long message about your dillemma and you'll get this: "eww, guys are gross, move on." And she couldn't be more right. And then, there's Arty. Arty is a special case, mainly because he doesn't necessarily attempt to be the funniest man ever, I just think he is. Since I met him at an old summer job, a.k.a. "the morgue", his lines have been nothing short of gems. Last summer, Dre and I decided that we must preserve these Arty treasures. We agreed to begin working on a thin pocket sized book called "Arty: the memoirs" filled with his best material. Since then, any conversation with Arty, whether by email, phone, facebook, text message or in person is recorded in a trusty word document until Dre and I are able to fill 50 moleskin sized pages with quotes. And since you are all taking the time to read this blog, below is a sneak peek of our manuscript.
NOTE: Yes the Simpsons-esque cartoon on the side is Arty's and it's quite accurate.

On the idea of having a book of his quotes published:
"You can have all the copyrights to my life you want, you'll probably actually do something with my life."

On how his day is going:
"I forgot my wallet and didn’t bring a sandwich today. I have like a chapters gift certificate which I can use to get money...."

On how his Christmas went:
My Christmas kind of sucked. I found out that you're supposed to shave against the grain when shaving your mustache (shave up). I was like "what? I've been shaving for three years and no one ever told me, I've always been shaving down". I guess that's why I always had the dirty mustache thing going on. It was embarrassing, it definitely rattled me and ruined my Christmas. Like why didnt anyone tell me... so i shaved up today, it looks better but i cut myself a lot, it looks like my lips tried to commit suicide. All those days I've gone out in public looking like a bum...

On his car ride to work:"The drives are pretty bad, it takes like an hour to get here with my mom, and the whole car ride is her nagging about the traffic, weather and the oc transpo strike. And she always wants to hear the news and I'm just like “you want the news? you want the news? Here's the news: Obama is still black and the OC transpo strike is still going on”.

On his new job:
"There’s a kind of hot girl in Starbucks downstairs. Maybe I should force myself to fall in love with her, then each day would involve my finding ways to make contact with her and my day would be filled with highs and lows of emotions from successes and failures, respectively, of getting her to notice me. My life in this building would have some purpose, a useless one, but a purpose nonetheless."

Submissive girls bore me

Friend: What's up girl?
JJ: He stood me up again.
Friend: Again?
JJ: Um hmmm.
Friend: Well whats up with this guy? Do you really like him that much?
JJ: Yes, honey, I love him! He is fine, he does a lot of nice things for me.
Friend: I know he used to do nice stuff for you, but what has he done for you lately?

Have you ever noticed that when your girlfriends put the name of a boy they are dating under the "in a relationship with" option on facebook and you click on that guy, his profile picture is him sans girlfriend? However, your girlfriend's profile pictures consists of them together or even in some crazy cases, the boyfriend himself?

Now I'm not l'éminence grise on relationships, however, take it from Janet (who has been empowering women worldwide since 1982) and ask your man: what have you done for me lately?

I'm making this post seem more essential than it actually is

Don't call it a comeback. I've been blogging since mid '07, so I'm not jumping on a trend. I started Ottawa Street Style, and I'm still sort of committed to it, however, I moved to Toronto recently so it's kind of hard to take pictures of street style when I'm not physically there. Now I'm here, semi-anonymous, dropping hints it's me, but still denying it is. Any way, I guess this is a welcome slash who am I post, right? So, some things you may want to know but aren't really THAT important:

• I'm not one of those bloggers that has a love affair with Paris although they've never visited the country and they make huge grammatical errors in French because they don't speak a word of French. My first language is FRENCH and I've been to Paris, but I'm not obsessed with it, I appreciate the people, culture and history.
• My ethnic background is as mysterious as the colour of my eyes, and my skin is quite fair. By fair I mean I turn pig colour when attempting to tan and get really freckly. But everyone thinks I'm dark because my hair is.
  
• I'm highly educated. Highly means I dropped $25,000 in four years for a B.A. (in mass communications and commerce) and I dropped out of a master's program before the first day.
• I'm fluent in more than two languages and my eyelashes will break your heart.
• I love writing in minuscule letters, except when I blog. It feels incorrect.
• My political affiliations are on the hand I don't write with (read the name smart ass).
  
• Unlike 89% of bloggers, I don't have an addiction to Starbucks. I much prefer Second Cup, or Bridgehead, a fair trade coffee house in my hometown.
  
• Unlike most of the [female] blogger population, I don't have a fascination with Gossip Girl nor end my posts with xoxo. I haven't had television in eight years and I plan on not having it for another eight or so.
• I'm short, thin, intimidating and brutally charming. I also happen to be a [semi] assertive woman with an opinion. Does that come as a shock to you?
• My hair cut is noticeably cool and I live in an apartment I can't [really] afford. I'm not that luxury obsessed and financially deprived however.
• I'm a raw denim enthusiast and I have trouble throwing pants in the washer. So I don't. I'm excessively clean though. Is that an oxymoron?
  
• I'm a bad cook (but I try), I read a lot, I paint walls well and I illustrate.
• I'm obsessed with gypsies.
• I've had way too many jobs and sleep way too little.
• My favourite line is Comme des Garcons, pre the whole H&M fiasco.
• Sarcasm is my forte, which I'm sure is obvious from the previous points.
  

And there you have it... a lot of "I'ms" and the most egocentric post that will ever be posted. If you want to send me emails (I love them, oh yes I do), use the button down there. I'll answer quickly, promise.