[army of others]

Just some old Iron Army campaign photos I found laying around, which is now the brand [city of others] denim.

My boys +New Empire+

My boys Gab and Seb have this band, right, and they just moved to Montreal and got this awesome new drummer named Brandon (who I have yet to meet, but I heard he's awesome so I believe it) and they are all excited and shit. So much so that they are playing another show, which you should check out if you're in the area. Even if it's not your type of music, you'll fall in love with their charisma, sense of humour and good looks. Hey who knows, you might end up becoming a groupie, just don't blame me if your heart gets broken.

+New Empire+
Friday, March 6, 8pm
Le Gymnase - 4177 rue Saint-Denis
With performances by:
Acres of Lions Killing for Friday Bigger and Better Things

A message from the boys:
Join us March 6th at Le Gymnase in Montreal for our second show in the city. If you come see us play, you're gonna have a good time, but if you decide that a fun filled Friday night isn't want you want, you're gonna have a bad time...it's science, just do it!

Conversations with models

Conversation on Sunday night with my house guest model (please note, when you meet said model, this is much more amusing):

R: Can I go to work with you?
Me: Of course not! What am I supposed to say? I'm babysitting a 23 year old and had nowhere else to leave her?
R: Yeah that's good!

Random text messages throughout the day received from guest:

R: I can't wait to meet you, I'm bored, it's so cold outside. Man, I'm so cold.
R: My agency is making me wear a dress to my casting. Wtf?
R: Lol, I will die. They think I'm weird cuz they think I'm skinny but my measurements don't make sense..I met everyone 2day, I was so scared!
Me: You are skinny! Look I need to get back to work. I'll see you soon.
R: Okie, have fun. Je t'aime.
R: How long will it take me to meet you?
Me: Leave the house now (4:31pm).
R: Ok.
R: I just left the house, coming to meet you (4:55pm).
R: I called you, you didn't answer.
R: Talk to me, I know you're not busy, unless you are eating Indian.
Me: Sorry, I was busy
R: Are you mad at me?
Me: No.

While waiting three hours at a fashion show casting Monday night, I decided to ask Ramy what she meant when she said I dance like a hipster.

Me: So, what do you mean I dance like a hipster?
R: You dance like a hipster.
Me: That doesn't explain anything. I don't shake my hands in the air and look like I'm hallucinating.
R: What I mean is, it's effortless. It flows so well when you dance. I like it.
Me: That's doesn't define hipster dancing then. Get your glossary straight. This is like the time you said making out was the same as kissing, it's not the same thing.
R: Yo it is! Whatever.
Me: You better book this job. I'm cold, hungry, unable to bash agencies, and I've been talking to the model moms for so long they've started asking me if I am your mom.

Inside the waiting room, discussion about Patricia Fields "losing it" (in reference to the poor wardrobe choices in Confessions of a Shopaholic (which I have not seen)).

Me: Patricia Fields has officially went bonkers. Did you see the trailer for Confessions of a Shopaholic? The clothes?
R: Yo for real? That's Patricia Fields?
Random model: Yep.
R: Who is the best stylist out there now you'd say? Rachel Zoe?
Me: Rachel Zoe is annoying and is a fan of something called homogeneity. What is up with her calling herself "Zoe"? It's Zoé!
Random model #2 giggles. Random models begin staring at each other.
R: Yeah I know, so stupid.
Me: (To Random Model #1) So what's your name?
Random Model #1: (I actually forgot her name)
Me: Cool. What agency are you with?
Random Model #1: ICON
Me: Awesome (in head - eww ICON). (Looking over to Random Model #2) How about you?
Random Model #2: My name is Zoé, that's actually why I was giggling when you said Zoe is lame. Some people call me Zoe.
Me: People should not sabotage a beautiful name like Zoé. I do not take back what I said. (In head - crap, did she understand us when we were talking about her in French?)
I look around, getting ancy.
Me: Who do you have to sleep with around here to get some service?
Models stare at me like wtf did she just say
Me: So you ladies new to the industry I take it?

West Queen West is still sketch

Last night, I was at The Gladstone Hotel for Michael Muhammed Knight's presentation at This is not a reading series when suddenly, a bum (or an older man who clearly cannot hold his alcohol) came up on stage during question period. He proceeded to yell incoherent messages into the microphone, wave his hands into the air while stumbling on his feet and then he fell and all we heard was a loud thud. The waiter at the Gladstone then yelled "they said the Gladstone was undergoing gentrification, but...we're STILL SKETCHY YAY!" and he puts his hands up in the air.

Love Affair: Illy Coffee

There aren't many benefits to working in Liberty Village, a neighbourhood still in the midst of gentrification, but there is one: Illy Coffee. Newly opened School Bakery & Cafe serves Illy Coffee. It's pure quality and oh so delicious! As one of my co-workers said, "this coffee is magic!"

The company even has a chain of Italian-style coffee houses named “espressamente illy”. The coffee house was founded in 2003 and the concept was designed by architects Luca Trazzi, Claudio Silvestrin and Paola Navone. Today, there are over 150 cafés in 20 countries. You can also purchase Illy Coffee to make at home at Metro and Kitchen Table for $13.99, or visit their online store. Illy coffee is also served at B Espresso. I just can't get enough.

Yuppie Activist is again writing about status, no not that one

My friend came over today, read my post about facebook statuses, and was kind enough to let me creep her friend's profile because she figured it would make for some fantastic material. Boy was she right! This dude (who was the subject of my enjoyment for 30 minutes or so) seems to think Facebook status should be used like Twitter because he changes it almost hourly, does not understand the art of spelling and grammar AND really does not make much sense. Now, I share it with you, dear readers (click on image for larger view of content):

60 things I recently learned about my friends

My comments are in bold. I'm attempting to relate, but sometimes, I just can't.

1. I come from a family of 7 kids, where I am the second oldest. - I come from a family of four, where I am the first to be ignored.
2. I have a scar on my lower lip that makes it difficult to wear lipstick sometimes (people usually don’t notice it until I tell them, which is weird because it is noticeable) - The small lips I enherited make it difficult to wear lipstick. But I love red lipstick so I do it any way
3. I’m a laugh stealer. I think every time I have made fun of someone’s laugh, I have somehow adopted it into my eclectic laugh, which can very. Currently I have a combination of my uncle’s and Marge Simpsons. But the good thing is when I am genuinely really laughing, like something is knee-slapping hilarious, you can automatically tell. I think my real laugh is cute, and I only wish that was only laugh. - People think my laugh is cathartic
4. i have the same birthday as Martin Luther King Jr. - Oh yeah, well I have the same birthday as Rihanna (why do I know this?)
   
5. I've sat with Paul Martin, Jean Chretien and the Governor General :) - I saw Jean crossing the street in a cheap suit downtown once...
6. I once drove on the wrong side of the main road, i was LOST - I do this when I find a parking spot on a one way road and don't feel like making a billion turns so I can suffer through a few honks in order to park
   
7. I can't spell well, and my excuse is that I have to remember spellings in TWO languages - I can spell well in my third language (English), but I'm horrible with my first and second
8. I secretly want there to be a 'bed book', just like facebook but not with friends but with people you've slept with!!! haha! No 'bed-friends' in common!- it would be socially revolution - I once wanted to write a book called Memorable hook-ups of people you know
   
9. I am lazily ambitious - I am productively ambitious
10. My mental age is 5 and I'm proud of it. That's why i get along so well with my 5 year old niece! - My energy is equivalent to that of a four year old, that's why I can out play those kids
11. Im "flirtatiously challenged" ie. Im terrible at flirting - I have this problem with men, no problem seducing les femmes, which are not my sexual preference
    
12. I think people falling down is HILARIOUS - Indeed
13. As of today Ive gone without cable for 7 months - Seven months? Try eight years then come talk to me.
    
14. Je réalise que maintenant comment le français est une belle langue, donc tous les francophones n'oublier jamais ça. - C'est vrai
15. I'm blind as a freaking bat but i can smell things like a bloodhound - Yep, I have that gift
16. I could draw a nude photo of you like Jack did to Rose on Titanic ... - I could draw an illustration of you, just like that cartoonist on the streets of Vieux Montréal
    
17. I'm late for EVERYTHING. If I wake up/leave early I'll still be late - If I attempt to be late, I'll still be early
18. I only like cleaning when I have an essay or exam looming. - I love cleaning
19. I started going to university in 1993 and I will be graduating from university in 2009. It has been a very long and convoluted journey but I have no regrets. - I started going to university in 2004, I graduated in 2008, no scenic route for me
    
20. I once tried running up to the Queen of England without a diaper on. And I was wearing a dress. And it was windy that day. (I was also 1 or 2 years old) - hahahahaha
21. I once bumped into Jarvis Cocker of Pulp. It was glorious. I actually touched him. With my body. - I ran into Fab Moretti of the Strokes outside the American Embassy and he told me I had cool hair.
    
22. Someone has my initials inside a heart tattooed on their ass (tee hee!) - I once got thanked on an album. That's all i got.
23. My first album ever was The Fugees The Score - Mine was No Need to Argue by The Cranberries. I was eight.
    
24. I wish canadian politics were as interesting as American politics - Western politics are not nearly as interesting as Eastern politics. Regimes, regimes, regimes.
    
25. I'm allergic to everything at Yves Rocher - Hilarious
26. I don't like talking on the phone - I despise talking on the phone, I always "have to go"
27. One of my favorite outfits when I was 4 or so was some jeans worn with a red windbreaker, open, and no shirt underneath. I think the inspiration may have come from "Knight Rider" or "Magnum P.I.". - Cute
    
28. I have a bad habit of letting things burn or cook unattended. - This happened ONCE and it was because SNP and I were deep into conversation. I made her eat the burnt meal afterwards. What a trooper.
    
29. When I was 3, I broke into our neighbours house, just to see if they were home. As I recall, when my Mom found out, I was grounded for a week. - I broke into a house when I was sixteen, because my friend (who lived there), forgot her key. We had to climb through the kitchen window and I fell into the sink.
30. I attended 4 Proms, 1 when i was in grade 11, 2 my graduating year and one after i graduated. (waste of money!!) - I went to prom with a guy who has attended four proms. It's not the guy who wrote that though.
    
31. I am part machine! - I've been asked if I am half robot.
32. I really hate the smell of doritos - Why would anyone want to eat something that smells like feet?
33. I am born on Bastille Day. I don’t know why I think it is the coolest thing ever. - It is.
    
34. God only knows why my mother would tell me this, but I was conceived in Seville, Spain. - I was conceived when there was a power outage. According to my mother, "there was nothing else to do."
35. Don’t ever ask me to go skating, or skiing, or for a ‘nice walk’ outside in the middle of winter. - Winter should not exist.
36. When I went to Disney World I made my friend wait in line for 2 hours so that I could get a picture with the Little Mermaid….I was 14 years old. - Commitment
37. When I was a little kid I would refer to seafood as mermaid. - ahahahahahahahaha. After hours of repeating what I was saying, I wanted to throw my little sister into the Lobster pool, but my parents wouldn't allow it.
    
38. I only have Linux installed on my two computers' hard discs and I use one of those machines to run a homebrewed server to power my personal website. Makes sense, the 95+% of what I do with computers is Internet-related. - My undergrad research papers were on open source software, I was called "the open source girl".
39. I play music via the command line (MPG123 running at 10-15% CPU and under 700kB memory with a full set of keyboard commands) unless I'm listening to Last.FM or podcasts, in which case I'll launch some RhythmBox. -Wow, that has to be one of the most un-interesting things I have ever read.
40. Though I have no known food or drug allergies, I am allergic to cats, who will unfortunately prevent me from sleeping if I crash in a room where the feline sets foot. Grass will give me rashes if I walk in it bare-footed. - According to KFC, grass is nature's napkin. You're missing out.
41. I read a fair amount of RSS including (but not limited to) /. Ask the Headhunter, Indexed, Prosopopeya Divagante, a few friends' blogs & hamradio. Most of anything else I get in RSS hasn't been too active lately. You'd probably figure, I use the Linux Feed Reader to enjoy some RSS (it uses Gnome + Gecko and is supported by the Epiphany browser as well as FIreFox). - I hope my blog isn't on your RSS, or else you'll see my comment about how un-interesting the "25 things about me" you wrote is.
42. I have my hair cut every six to eighteen months. - Splendid, I cut mine once volume starts kicking in. Approximately every two months.
    
43. i like the sound my heels make when i walk down the street or a hallway. it makes me feel sophisticated. - I usually look around to see if there are any hookers lurking.
44. the use of bad grammar or lazy spelling really turns me off. but i don't like the looks of capital letters. - What a coincidence, me too.
45. i have broken someones heart. only once. - Twice. Or was it three? Maybe four.
    
46. my father is famous. for a lot of things including meatloaf and generally having great ideas. well, he thinks they are great ideas. - My father is famous for having a very eerie resemblance to a pseudo-famous person
47. My great grand father died on the Titanic. - Mine died in the village.
48. I spilled during Question Period an entire glass of water on Pierre Pettigrew, Minister of Foreign Affairs...yep it was caught on tv...good times....Keep rolling
49. When I was 6 I had a crush on Jean Charest. (please don't judge me) - I am totally judging you and how unbelievably Québécois you sound right now.
    
50. I am one of the world's most pathetic creatures... a Leafs fan - Even though I am now a resident of Toronto, I will never be a Leafs fan. Sens baby.
51. My Blackberry Brick Breaker high score is 64,790 - Pfft, bubble breaker is so much cooler.
52. I buried a cabbage patch doll that belonged to a whiny girl from the neighbourhood, way down deep in a playground sandpit. My conscience didn’t eat at me one bit, but my rat of a brother fessed up and got us both pinched. - I once buried a very expensive bottle of perfume behind our backyard because I was angry with my mom.
53. I Own 38 button down collared shirts, 5 suits and 15 pairs of shoes ( including 1 pair Snake Skin and 1 pair of Lavender shoes, and a lavender suit...and I’m straight) - Oh yes, the lavender set. I recall third year video class when he wore that outfit and the mockery that ensued.
    
54. I think philosophy is the study of theories by people with too much time on their hands and not enough ambition to get a real job. Psychology is the study of those people. - Je pense, donc je suis. Deep thoughts of being unemployed=philosophy.
    
55. I think we have a lot to learn from our grandparents. - Like how to use olive oil in everything.
56. I don't like my mother - I like your mother.
57. I hate the feeling of cotton balls and will not touch them if my life depended on it - I hate the feeling of velveteen.
    
58. i often back out on plans with friends. for no reason at all. - Writing that proves to your friends that you lied all those times you backed out.
59. i also always say sorry for things, even if i didn't do anything to them. people get mad at me for it sometimes, or maybe that's just made up in my head. - Me too.
60. i've recently developed a fear of public washrooms. i will walk back and forth, looking at all the toilets, until i find one that is clean enough. then i'll put layers of toilet paper on the seat, and try to go as quickly as i can so i'll be able to get off the seat. - I wish they made miniature bottles of Mr. Clean. The moves I have in a public washroom are comparable to a gymnast. I have no formal training.

Here's something about me that I'm going to tell you but is completely unnecessary: I find it would be a lot of fun to hook up with someone while a Giorgio Moroder song plays in the background, That's right, Giorgio Moroder. Don't you judge me.

Too. Many. Shows.

Yes, something other than hot models come out of Brazil. Go see them, and I promise they'll make you sweat. Tickets are here...I think it works for me.

The Twelves
The Social - 1100 Queen W
Thursday, March 26

Supposedly Miami Horror, which did a wonderful mix alongside Fred Falke of "Embrace", is going to be at The Social on March 23. Can't find more details about this event.



Ugh, CiRca. But it's Cut Copy, with Matt & Kim so you can sustain the douchery for one night.

Cut Copy
CiRca -126 John St.
Friday, March 20












There's also Junior Boys on March 28 and 29 at The Mod Club, which you would be crazy to miss. Here's one reason of many why.

Junior Boys
Mod Club - 722 College St
March 28 and 29









The Presets can't live without ya boy so they're visiting on April 6 and Sebastien Tellier will make you go right over the top on April 8, both events are at The Mod Club. And, and, and, supposedly, I heard news of Aeroplane on May 7th also at The Mod Club but details are still not available.

How it came to be that I live in Toronto

While writing an email to Gen (oh yeah, she was nice enough to write to me), I realized what a wonderful blog post the email I was writing her would make, see for yourself:

I think the whole Masters at my age was the problem. I basically didn't know what I wanted to do and graduation was approaching. So I thought it would be genius to apply for grad school since I'm good at school and it would get me out of the hell hole I was living in. Plus I would be able to add "M.A." at the end of my name because the letters B and A were just not enough. Come to think of it, it could best be explained from the "real world phobia" which most people who attended university right after high school without breaks suffer from. Unfortunately, due to the excessive amount of students who also had the same fear and the good idea that I had, I was not accepted at the only school I wanted to go to and had to settle for another uni. That was like having someone shake a can of Pepsi and open it in your face: a wake-up call and a reminder that no matter how good you are at something, or in this case, how good your thesis is, there's always someone who has one that's better than yours. Then, during the summer, after two years of being treated like a model/intern, getting paid $0.89 an hour in fashion marketing, and ripping my curly locks from boredom at my other job that brought home the dolla dolla bling bling, I quit all my commitments, refused a full time offer at my money making job, lived on my sister's floor, got addicted to Tetris, travelled back and forth to Toronto whoring my portfolio around, interviews, interviews, rejection, theft, rejection, recession, rejection, then bam! Got a job and moved. Now I'm here, and guess what? Even if it's hard to make ends meet, I don't regret a moment.

T.O. Thoughts Diary, part I

Influenced by NY Mag's sex diaries, but the content is totally different

Morning

• Thinking about how I really need to marry an architect. Even an engineer will suffice. Maman et papa will really like an engineer. Electrical? Mechanical? Computer? Anything but Chemical.
  
• Stalking little sister's facebook, looking at her ugly friends. Kids cannot possibly be that big and tall at 13-14. Wondering if she'll regret these lame photos in a few years. Also wondering why maman is allowing her to wear eyeliner. So unfair.
• What am I five?

Lunch

• Tempted to chat. No one good is ever on chat.
• Someone's food smells really bad. I feel like vomiting. God damn my ability to smell absolutely everything. Smell my arm to forget about it. I smell really good, why don't more people jump me?
  
• So hungry.
• Twitter keeps track of your day, maybe i should get it so I remember what I did at 3:02pm and write it into my time sheet instead of digging through my notebook hoping I wrote it down.
• Need to write down more good Arty quotes since we messaged each other back and forth and there was some solid material in there.
• Think about the book Arty told me to write, Observations of drunk people while sober. Since I don't drink, that consists of 97% of my life.
• Realize my handwritting is like the Baiji, slowly becoming extinct.
• Supposedly researchers can't find Baiji's anymore.
  
• "How we exit" by Gentleman Reg on repeat
• Call my parents before they call me. I know the outcome. "you never call" yada yada yada
• Parents were nice on the phone. It means they are mad at one of my siblings so they are nice to me.
  
• Think about what I'm going to wear tonight.
• Think about all the emails I have to send and all the work I am procrastinating on.
• Wondering what it would be like to post my picture on a dating site. Would I get hits?

Afternoon

• Really tempted to continue reading Starbucked right now. I should really finish Rules of Attraction before starting a new book. Why do I always read seven books at the same time?
  
• Wondering if my roommate did the dishes.
• So full.
• Where do they sell red velvet cupcakes after valentine's day?
• Get a burst of energy at work when I think back to a funny story a friend told me. I decide to tell some co-workers the story and die of laughter.
• Remember I am no longer four and cannot act like an imbecile at work.
  
• Emailing back and forth with friend - topic? Simpsons quotes.
  
• How am I supposed to go dancing if my eyes feel like they haven't slept in days?
  
• I went out Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and slept late last night. Must I go dancing? My feet do need it. Plus my dance partner totally kept up on Saturday, she was wonderful. I want to dance with her again.
• Munching on oriental rice cakes, the $0.99 ones not the $0.79 brand. I know it's a recession but I don't plan on sacrificing taste for none.
  

Get ready

SNP, this one's for you, because you said my joke/comment was not funny. If this doesn't make you giggle, I owe you a lemon tart.

With all those social networking websites taking over the Internet and overshadowing great grad school topics for the media studies program (curse them), I’ve decided to feature facebook album names, you know, since I've already talked about statuses (I'm not done, more statuses to come). Don’t jump to conclusions, I’ve found an interesting way of entertaining my readers, even if it means laughing at a few of my friends’ antics (which are technically no longer private if they are brought to life on the internet, a public sphere which they have given me clear access to!)

Albums are another pile of gold via the book we call face. People with originality (I claim to be one of the pioneers of being original with your facebook album title), try and find new names to describe the contents of the album. I am going to shamelessly peruse through my friends’ profiles and exploit their album names, whether creative or not.

Oh, I won’t be revealing any people’s names in order to maintain a solid social life and the anonymity of those whose album names I am exposing.

P.P.S: I am keeping the spelling mistakes - yes, people still manage to misspell even though your browser tells you its worng, I mean wrong.

Also, many thanks to a friend whose friends had absolutely the best material for this post.

mtL.getaway..wth.the.gurlz
description: what a night... we got no sleep lol
Location: downtown mtl nd our hotel

more photos? crazy
description: we're fucking rad.
Location: pluto.

moments of silence...separated sisters

Scent of Attraction photoshoot
description: EXCLUSIVE PREVIEW THE REST TO COME...
Location: Montreal,Qc

The Arctic + VanCity n a quickie in O-Town

eurotrashy
description: i miss you bitches but no more rape please
Location: yourmom whaataaaaa

Second time her collarbone tripped over my shoelaces not enough to make a full album so stuck a few loose ones in
Location: eeeerywhere

Bronze skin n cinammon tans♥

Domino
description: All about me!
Location: In me

office drudgery leads to this
description: liiiiiiiittle bit bored this morning at work

CAmping with men
description: Yeah
Location: JR

The Triad Mafia having some fun

sex cupcakes and lumberjacks

Pad Thai for 2 $
Location: Montreal

Summer times 2008 - I swear i only had 4 beers....
description: stolen photos from other peeps

Mine and Lovers camping vaca

Graduation -Woo! I Have a Diploma!
description: Pictures of the day I received a really expensive piece of paper.

You know its been a good trip when the story ends with AND THEN

Don't have time to sort them
description: Ya it's a whole bunch of pictures from different places.

4th year ("epically drunk")
description: alexander keith's birthday - patty bolands/halloween/new years '08 at republic

$eCtI@n.222}YET,AGAIN

Pink is the new puppy!
description: first pics of my future bundle of joy lol

no drama birthday party!

T-dot once again..."the double bag night"

Glaston - motherfuckin - bury

We went out with a BANG...literally

Life Life 2 Random Pictures in My Phone

Just Didn't know where to go do we realy need an excuse to go out? No!
Location: Who knows

BIG MAN Random Limo! LADIES NIGHT OUT...Frickin love them women

Poping missionz in QC city wit Tasha!!!
Location: Quebec city/ Palladium/ Palace/Dagobert

Get2Gether 4 Kathryn's bday
Location: Soul/ Lonestar/Sadiki's House

Thats what we do between our FINALS!!!!

random day...take pics ..because we're just cool like that
Location: OttawaU

GWENS BDAY PARTY 1848/Money in the banks

Bday I got my drink and my 2 step ...its on.... like my 22nd Bday

Random Nite of jus FUN wit 4Korners NOIR Party

We Did it Again Ladies My Bday Week with my Lover and Friends!!!

Wkd wit my Baby (Bx - Ottawa)

Blame it on the goose, Got cha feeling loose!

|R //=\\ ||\\|| || )) (( ))||\V/||

Description: Candices party-- wanted to take more photos but toonie stole my camera and took solo pics or herself

Location: places

One of my friends has some pretty creative ones:

Kenya dig it??? African lion safari
Description: grrrr baby very grrr!
Location: Maasai Mara - Kenya

Project Drunkway!!
Description: I think the name speaks for itself ;)
Location: everywhere

Smile like you're not a creeper
Location: T.dot

Tragically unhip?

I plan on taking a trip to New York later on this year for a variety of reasons.
1) the last time I was there I was diagnosed with bronchitis (and refused to admit it),
2) I stayed at quite possibly the worst hotel in the Upper West Side, and
3) I was the only person on the trip that was legal in the States (I turned 21 while there).

This time around, I plan on making this trip either a road trip or a plane trip with various people, not just one or two. And I refuse to take the bus. I couldn't even handle the two hour bus ride from Ottawa to Montreal, you think I can handle over nine hours?

There are a few things I want to do before heading there, such as emailing Gen D. Markle from The Tragically Unhip and ask her to have coffee with me because I am sure she would be the best person to have coffee with. Gen, if you are reading this, I hope you answer my email and say yes. I love your posts, they make me laugh more than any other blog I read (sorry for all the people who I've said that too but truth is, my blog reading heart belongs to Gen's posts).

I also plan on exploring the areas that were going to be the subjects for my abandoned masters thesis (that's right, every gentrified area in NYC). I will also make sure to ask the subway station attendant for directions and getting this answer: "You gonna go up the stairs, cross the street and you gonna go down three blocks. Everywhere in New York is three blocks." It'll be just like it was two years ago, except this time, I won't get lost because I'm no longer "direction challenged" (you ever lived in Ottawa? The city makes no sense, how is one supposed to develop a sense of direction?).

If anyone is interested in joining me on this awfully big adventure, you must be okay with doing the things I mentioned above, okay?

Typos and such

So I have this friend and she changes her facebook status quite often but the only problem is she always has a spelling mistake, or two. It's not like the words are hard to spell or anything she just seems to always have some form of massive typo in there. Stuff like that gets on my nerves, and it might be mean to tell her, but I'm seriously considering it. C'mon, you try keeping yourself together when this appears in your news feed:

On the misuse of domestics

"Stop it! Stop it!" screamed the young lady as her boyfriend (I assume) attempted to calm her down at 2:35am Monday morning. This was at the streetcar stop in front of my building and this possibly, or usually normal human being was letting all the crazy out. Could it have been a bad Valentine's day? An awful gift? Cheating? A break-up? Whatever it was, I hope you know, I don't care. The point is, keep your domestics private. In public, maintain the status quo. And to the screaming and unstable woman, this message: calm down, you're giving us non-crazy women a bad reputation, ya know?

Shauna & Kara

Is your heart still beating? Or has it been stolen by these two babes? To all you agents out there, don't delay, sign them now cause they're both tall and strikingly beautiful.

Photography: Peter Fritz, Richard Gibbs, Lawrence Callender

Is this it?

Today is Valentine's Day. Get ready for lame Facebook statuses, overcrowded restaurants and a line-up at the drug store (oh you know). Take my heart and break it.

Yesterday my life was filled with rain

Hate to look like I'm replicating blog posts, or old videos of maman et papa I found in the basement, however, it just dawned on me that I totally forgot about one essential themed party I should host:

The party room in my building will be converted into 254 West 54th Street and have a man in the moon with a cocaine spoon on the wall, making sure people know that it's the 1970s, Boney M will be blasting and this is Studio 54. To keep it real, I'll charge $8 cover like they used to do. As for the guests, I'm curious to know who will come dressed as Steve Rubbell and Ian Schrager? Mick and Bianca Jagger? Jerry Hall? Liza? Halston? Grace Jones? Zsa Zsa? Capote? Someone even has to be the notorious doorman Marc Benecke and refuse entry to those whose costumes, well, umm, suck per say.

Oh but wait, how about a John Hughes' classics themed party? This includes characters from any movie he directed, written or produced. Dibs on being Ferris Bueller, in case you were thinking about stealing my costume.

love love

image source: NY Times and ew.com

A Loss For A Night

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo
- T. S. Eliot: The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock (1919)

First came the raggedy girl with the big heart who used to build forts with me, then came the boy with the mushroom cut and the freckles, followed by the rebellious girl from BC, then it was the chubby red headed boy who couldn't leave me alone if for a second, then the innocent girl with the beautiful smile, after her came my blood relative, the attention seeking girl, the adorable girl with the stripper’s name, the twin with the serene voice, the girl I took a life changing trip with, the kid I knew in elementary who recently discovered she was somewhat attractive, the stylish sidekick who listened, opened up my eyes and loved lentils just as much as I did, the poster boy for the sexually confused, the tall and chatty photographer, the big lipped and sensitive cute guy who disappeared when he got a girlfriend, and the “boss” who listened until I quit. Then of course there’s the beautiful blue eyed girl with the fish lips, but you’ve always been around haven’t you? And unlike them, you're here to stay.

The introductory quote, to me, represents losing touch, simply because of its social definition. I hate the concept of losing touch, but it's for the best, or something like that.

Melting in your vice dreams

I go to Carte Blanche often, and although I know I SHOULDN'T because I really SHOULD be saving money, I can't help it. I have a fascination with denim, good service and fantastic conversation and this place happens to be a combination of all three. Last week, I had to get the button replaced on my high waisted jeans and while at the store, I spotted this gorgeous Lungta de Fancy dress on the mannequin. I had to have it. Not so much had, but WANTED. So the next day, I messaged Esther, an employee at the store, and got the information about the dress. Although it was 50% off, let's just say the sale price was out of my range, but I bought it any way. Tania, the designer of the in-house brand Pink Cobra, offers alterations, you know just so you don't have a wardrobe malfunction...indeed convenient. What more can you ask for in a clothing store? I mean where else can you get a) dresses that make boys want to knock on your papa's door asking for your hand in marriage, b) good service and c) cupcakes? Okay they don't offer cupcakes, I just threw that in there for potential future sales pitch.

If you haven't been, go. You'll keep going back and they'll like you, and in turn like me. Go, go, go, go! And if you're still not convinced, here's a few more reasons to visit the store: The in-house brand Pink Cobra, alongside producing some wonderful pieces, can make you custom raw jeans (I got some) AND Carte Blanche is the only retailer in Canada that carries April 77, Jean-Pierre Braganza and Gareth Pugh.

Oh but wait, they also carry:

• Pleasure Principle
• Jeremy Loves Ksubi (Ksubi shades are on my birthday list, not that anyone would get them for me, sigh)
• Horace
• and many more
  

And you get to meet the wonderful staff. Ça suffit, non? I just hope they consider carrying Sophomore NYC soon.

Carte Blanche: 758 Queen Street West, 416-532-0347, www.shopcarteblanche.ca

Suddenly my scenery has changed

Sometimes, you hear a song that just accompanies the soundtrack of your life. In my short lifetime, I've found two, both of them featured in fantastic films you should watch. The first is featured in Richard Linklater's Before Sunset, one of my favourite films. In the closing scene , Nina Simone’s “Just in Time” plays in the background. The use of this song in that particular scene just sends shivers down your body because it works so well and then abruptly, the screen goes black and the film ends. No need to explain the ending, you just get it.

The other song is quite possibly the most difficult one to find. I’ll take the vinyl if someone has it at this point...I just need it! Charlie Smalls’ "Never Felt Like This Before" is featured in Faces by John Cassavetes, another one of my favourite films. Although some may think the scenes are exhausting due to their length, I feel they are filled with so much reality and sadness that I refuse to watch them end. You'll also fall in love with Gena Rowlands in this film, she reminds me of Monica Vitti in it. The first time the viewer hears music in the film is around 40 minutes in and so Cassavetes was precise about his song selections. He made the right choice with this one. The voice, the lyrics...just bliss! "Cause you knew what I was after, Now the crying’s changed to laughter, What you doin’ standing way over there? I want you to come stand over here, and never leave me anymore, never felt like this before."





image sources: www.deeperintomovies.net
www.viewandreview.com

416 to the 905

I have no affiliation to the suburbs. I did not grow up in them nor hung out in them unless by force. Even when I lived at home, I lived in an area close enough to downtown that it wasn't considered the burbs. I went to high school downtown, I attended university downtown, and I hung out downtown (and Centretown for the Ottawa people who know). So I'm a city girl.

Before arriving to Toronto, I was aware of the 905 infestation. In Ottawa, we call them "Orleans people", not by the area code because we share the same one. Although I experienced them a bit, I knew where to go to stay away from them (Babylon, Zaphod's).

Advice you should take:

To CiRca: like most nightclubs, your time to shine is up. The image obsessed 905 population have taken over and when your parking lot becomes crammed with modified Honda Civics and the smell of hair gel and cologne, it is time for you to stop getting good artists to play at your venue because they are playing to the wrong crowd.

To 905ers: leave your douchery, rhinestone shirts, Hollister, bad denim and square toe shoes in the parking lots of your local Tim Hortons. It's making me wish I shopped at Le Chateau and listened to trance music, meaning: it's cramping my game.

Don't let this happen to you:

Friday, Feb 6 - 11:45pm
Upon entering the place, I was asked for ID. I look older than my age so this shouldn't happen (not shouldn't I just hate it). But it does at places like CiRca because the majority of the crowd is around 14. This isn't la belle province and Torontonians don't have the nonchalance of the Quebequois so how are these kids getting in?

Friday, Feb 6 - 11:50pm
In line for coat check. Then I paid $3 for coat check. At that rate I'd at least expect my coat to get dry cleaned or something.

Saturday, Feb 7 - 2:30am
I was called a pretentious French girl and had my name sabotaged by an Ed Hardy wearing, True Religion rocking 905-er who decided it would be cool to take his balls out in public and put them on display for a few seconds. Yes, that is why the only other time I will be going to CiRca will be for Cut Copy, but never again.

Saturday, Feb 7 - 3:30am
Remember how I paid $3 for coat check? I then waited 20 minutes to get it back (alongside getting id'd, I loathe line-ups).

image source: www.toronto.beforelastcall.com

Much too cool for 7th grade

Can someone please tell me why this show is off the air? Do you think they'll release a DVD box set?


image source: http://www.ecollegefinder.org/blog/

Party! Parti! Parté!

This year, I promise to host the following themed parties:

Dictator Party: Guests are invited to dress up as dictators of their choice. No duplicates please. Fictional ones such as the Emperor from Star Wars count and only because I really really want to dress up as him.

Great Gatsby Party: Guests must dress up in all things representative of the roaring 20's such as turbans, flapper dresses, tuxedos, money, etc etc.

Fashion Designer Party: Self-explanatory. Dress up as your favourite designer (dead or alive). I was Karl for Halloween. If I wasn't, I wouldn't have met MK.

R&B jam: That bump n grind shit. Playing only the old school jams, all night long.



Got more ideas? Share them!

images: www.earthstation1.com/www.edithwharton.org/images.blastro.com

Your heart feels

When I was younger and thought I was invincible (we're young, nothing can kill us!), I used to do some pretty stupid things (I won't name them, you've all probably done a majority of them). And I was so evasive that I couldn't even sign a phone contract. It's true, some of my most memorable "escaping commitment lines" sounded something like:

"You're so predictable, I mean, I even know what our children will look alike. That's just boring, ya know?"

And, my personal favourite,

"I say lots of things I don't mean. Like I love you for example."
"Then why did you say it?"
"Cause I was raised to be polite. Saying thank you after you said you loved me is just rude."

If you're about to break up with a significant other, I highly suggest against using the latter. It's hurtful and only appropriate when you're a teenager (somewhat). But for someone who has managed to escape most of her past behaviour, and recently started committing (mortgage baby), I sure as hell like charming, evasive men who, I'm aware, will break my heart. I like them because they remind me of me. Which brings me to today's lesson - why you shouldn't be honest about your feelings after finally deciding to be honest about them: Even though they might feel the same way about you, there's always a "but". Why hurt and embarrass yourself to hear what you want and then get a "but"? Forget everything Hollywood taught you because it's bullshit. Or to summarize it, avoid evasive men, they are the definition of why love and trouble are synonymous.

About boys and their mothers

In elementary school, I had a boy best friend. We were practically inseparable, until puberty hit. After that, emotions got in the way and we stopped speaking. Then a new chapter opened up called high school and we became friends again. This kid was a total pot head and always had parties at his house and since we had many mutual friends and I was young and needed to party, I’d go. We liked each others company, and although the best was removed from friends, I was happy we were talking again. His mother, on the other hand, was another story. I remember one night in November, after dinner at Café Republique in Montreal, Dre told me that he told her that his mom told him that she doesn’t want me coming over anymore. Basically, his mom was putting her mind into that of a sixteen year old’s (pretty stupid). I stopped hanging out at his house and we still talked, but not as much. I was at another high school anyway. He's really into pot and shit I grew out of. I kind of felt like he'd never grow up and as far as I know, he's still the same. It's been over three years since I've hung out with him, and a year since I ran into him on the street. He's on my facebook but I rarely keep in touch. It's funny how his mom didn't want him hanging out with me because I was a "bad influence" yet now if she actually knew what I was doing, she'd understand what a mistake she made to distance me from his life. Ever since I lost him as a best friend, I think of the term "best friend" as something only third graders use. And to whoever marries this guy, good luck with your mother in law.

You've already shocked me

Oh boy, Calvin Klein has done it again: they’ve managed to get their ads banned in the USA with a campaign that I personally find is way more worthy of the word provocative than the one with Eva Mendes’ nipple. Advertising CK jeans on television for the first time since Brooke told us that nothing comes between her and her Calvins, CK’s latest “all about ménage à trois” campaign was shot by Steven Meisel and features models Anna Jagodzinska, Anna Selezneva, Natashy Poly, Edita Vilkeviciute, Danny Schwarz, Vladimir Ivanov, Carson Parker and Mikus Lasmanis. This will surely do their careers some good, if you recall CK was the reason Kate became so popular.

Here's my only problem with this: CK has been banned before and you'd think they'd stop using boob and nipple cameos in their campaigns to get their commercials approved in the US but no. They WANT to be banned, they like the whole idea of supposed controversy. I find it's getting a bit old and boring. Isn't advertising about being avant garde and not putting out something you know is going to get you banned just like before? Stop recycling content. You've already gotten banned before, if you want to advertise, you can still be controversial without getting your commercial pulled. It's like those Trump showcards from last season that unecessarily used nudity to get attention. CK could've maintained this commercial's sex appeal by editing out a few things.

An edited version of the commercial for cable is still in progress, while Italy, Spain, Germany and France will air the uncut version (when do the Euros ever ban content any way?). The print campaign will begin appearing in magazines starting March.

Watch the banned video by clicking here. Warning, it may turn you on and is definitely labelled NSFW.

image source: models.com

Ugh

Why do some people (you know which ones) always patronize you for supposedly liking and suggesting other things, which they interpret as you just being "difficult?" For example, when it comes to them, they expect you to be okay with and perform the following:

• Going to see crappy movies THEY like (such as Fools Gold, Anchor Man, Wanted, and other such terrible Hollywood titles that make me cry because I want my $10 back)
• Listening to their horrible music
• Dancing at their favourite nightclubs (if I wanted to listen to bad music I would turn the radio on or borrow your i-pod)
• Watching their boring television shows (I'll sit and make fun of it but they take this shit seriously)
• To sit and attempt conversation with their un-interesting and blah friends
• Appreciate Beyonce's style
  
• Eating at their crummy and usually expensive restaurants (it's gotta be good, it's expensive! NO IT'S NOT. Can we go to a restaurant that's anything but Italian?)
• Shopping at their favourite stores (I don't think taking advice from someone who believes Beyonce has good style is acceptable for my fashionable reputation)
• Reading celebrity tabloid magazines
  
• To believe that InStyle and Cosmo are legitimate fashion publications. What next, I have to sit and enjoy Anna Wintour's Vogue?
• To sit and enjoy American Vogue and other magazines that never have models on the cover
  
• Laughing at the jokes of an unbelievably un-funny comedian (i.e. Dane Cook)
  

But when you suggest something like an album, a film or a fashion magazine that has a model on the cover instead of a celebrity, (and they obviously end up hating it because who wants to see spreads full of models wearing clothes anyway?) you get brutalized for it for eternity. Why should I be okay with your junk and if I insult it I'm being "condescending" but you have the right to insult my stuff and I should accept your critique because I'm supposedly "different"? Lame, lame, lame.