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Saturday, 7 February 2009

416 to the 905

I have no affiliation to the suburbs. I did not grow up in them nor hung out in them unless by force. Even when I lived at home, I lived in an area close enough to downtown that it wasn't considered the burbs. I went to high school downtown, I attended university downtown, and I hung out downtown (and Centretown for the Ottawa people who know). So I'm a city girl.

Before arriving to Toronto, I was aware of the 905 infestation. In Ottawa, we call them "Orleans people", not by the area code because we share the same one. Although I experienced them a bit, I knew where to go to stay away from them (Babylon, Zaphod's).

Advice you should take:

To CiRca: like most nightclubs, your time to shine is up. The image obsessed 905 population have taken over and when your parking lot becomes crammed with modified Honda Civics and the smell of hair gel and cologne, it is time for you to stop getting good artists to play at your venue because they are playing to the wrong crowd.

To 905ers: leave your douchery, rhinestone shirts, Hollister, bad denim and square toe shoes in the parking lots of your local Tim Hortons. It's making me wish I shopped at Le Chateau and listened to trance music, meaning: it's cramping my game.

Don't let this happen to you
:

Friday, Feb 6 - 11:45pm
Upon entering the place, I was asked for ID. I look older than my age so this shouldn't happen (not shouldn't I just hate it). But it does at places like CiRca because the majority of the crowd is around 14. This isn't la belle province and Torontonians don't have the nonchalance of the Quebequois so how are these kids getting in?

Friday, Feb 6 - 11:50pm
In line for coat check. Then I paid $3 for coat check. At that rate I'd at least expect my coat to get dry cleaned or something.

Saturday, Feb 7 - 2:30am

I was called a pretentious French girl and had my name sabotaged by an Ed Hardy wearing, True Religion rocking 905-er who decided it would be cool to take his balls out in public and put them on display for a few seconds. Yes, that is why the only other time I will be going to CiRca will be for Cut Copy, but never again.

Saturday, Feb 7 - 3:30am

Remember how I paid $3 for coat check? I then waited 20 minutes to get it back (alongside getting id'd, I loathe line-ups).

image source: www.toronto.beforelastcall.com

5 comments:

  1. haha orleans, nobody really ventures out there unless you live there. It's the ultimate ottawa suburb isn't it? haha

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  2. You were bitched out as a 'pretentious french girl' Jesus. You know, YuppieActivist, i'm wondering if you could make a similar 'do and don't' list for young MALE, ahem, hispters and the like, not including myself of course...but y know, for a friend!! Think about it...Ps. It's been almost a week since you haven't blogged about Lo-Fi-Fnk, are you feeling ferverish? Everything OK? lols.

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  3. How dare you take down Orleans like that!
    I'm going to run you down in my smelly Civic and then empty my old Timmies coffee on you while you try and get up... then i'll steal your raw denim jeans and wash them!....

    ... Okay actually, you got their number fairly well. I don't live in Orleans anymore (woot MTL) and I'm glad to be out of there. And even more glad to say that with frequent exposure and a little help from my friends, I managed to develop an immunity to the HOe-Leans infection...

    That being said, enjoy your public displays of testicles!

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  4. @Jen: no one should venture out there otherwise!
    @Letdown: Oh Bear, everything's fine. I'll blog about another group you should listen to soon. If Lo-Fi-Fnk releases another single similar to Want U that has me dancing, I'll blog about it, juste pour toi mon cher.
    @Mr.S: hahaha actually you'd run me down in your corolla and throw some french v on me.

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  5. ahahahaha oh man that sucks .
    public genitalia, never cool ...

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