Conversations with models

Conversation on Sunday night with my house guest model (please note, when you meet said model, this is much more amusing):

R: Can I go to work with you?
Me: Of course not! What am I supposed to say? I'm babysitting a 23 year old and had nowhere else to leave her?
R: Yeah that's good!

Random text messages throughout the day received from guest:

R: I can't wait to meet you, I'm bored, it's so cold outside. Man, I'm so cold.
R: My agency is making me wear a dress to my casting. Wtf?
R: Lol, I will die. They think I'm weird cuz they think I'm skinny but my measurements don't make sense..I met everyone 2day, I was so scared!
Me: You are skinny! Look I need to get back to work. I'll see you soon.
R: Okie, have fun. Je t'aime.
R: How long will it take me to meet you?
Me: Leave the house now (4:31pm).
R: Ok.
R: I just left the house, coming to meet you (4:55pm).
R: I called you, you didn't answer.
R: Talk to me, I know you're not busy, unless you are eating Indian.
Me: Sorry, I was busy
R: Are you mad at me?
Me: No.

While waiting three hours at a fashion show casting Monday night, I decided to ask Ramy what she meant when she said I dance like a hipster.

Me: So, what do you mean I dance like a hipster?
R: You dance like a hipster.
Me: That doesn't explain anything. I don't shake my hands in the air and look like I'm hallucinating.
R: What I mean is, it's effortless. It flows so well when you dance. I like it.
Me: That's doesn't define hipster dancing then. Get your glossary straight. This is like the time you said making out was the same as kissing, it's not the same thing.
R: Yo it is! Whatever.
Me: You better book this job. I'm cold, hungry, unable to bash agencies, and I've been talking to the model moms for so long they've started asking me if I am your mom.

Inside the waiting room, discussion about Patricia Fields "losing it" (in reference to the poor wardrobe choices in Confessions of a Shopaholic (which I have not seen)).

Me: Patricia Fields has officially went bonkers. Did you see the trailer for Confessions of a Shopaholic? The clothes?
R: Yo for real? That's Patricia Fields?
Random model: Yep.
R: Who is the best stylist out there now you'd say? Rachel Zoe?
Me: Rachel Zoe is annoying and is a fan of something called homogeneity. What is up with her calling herself "Zoe"? It's Zoé!
Random model #2 giggles. Random models begin staring at each other.
R: Yeah I know, so stupid.
Me: (To Random Model #1) So what's your name?
Random Model #1: (I actually forgot her name)
Me: Cool. What agency are you with?
Random Model #1: ICON
Me: Awesome (in head - eww ICON). (Looking over to Random Model #2) How about you?
Random Model #2: My name is Zoé, that's actually why I was giggling when you said Zoe is lame. Some people call me Zoe.
Me: People should not sabotage a beautiful name like Zoé. I do not take back what I said. (In head - crap, did she understand us when we were talking about her in French?)
I look around, getting ancy.
Me: Who do you have to sleep with around here to get some service?
Models stare at me like wtf did she just say
Me: So you ladies new to the industry I take it?